you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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