I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
