to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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