i just snorted my name. best moment ever
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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