Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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