I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My breasts were aching with rage.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
