do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
