i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
