He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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