There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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