Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
