I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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