Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
