I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My vagina is officially offended.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
