all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
