sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
