is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
