Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
