and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
