he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
