I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
