There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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