i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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