he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
