my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
