On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
