he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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