did you get engaged???
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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