John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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