I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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