Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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