And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
