I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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