i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
