Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
