I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
