Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
did you just send me my own nude
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
