THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
