He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
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