Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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