We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
