is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
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