just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He passed out mid-signature
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
