I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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