Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
