I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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