My balls are so social today.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
