Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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