: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
