it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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